Have you ever contemplated an egg donation vs surrogate journey before?
Recently this question was posed to me from a perspective surrogate who was weighing out the differences between the two trying to decide what was best for her. I was able to share the positives and negatives about becoming a gestational carrier but unable to discuss first hand what it was like to be an egg donor. Of course, we have heard some experiences with it but nothing concrete. Luckily, I have a GC who just delivered her surrogate baby after being an egg donor in the past. When I asked her to compare the two this is what she had to say:
Egg donation is shorter for sure but honestly, I would rather do a surrogacy. The injections go into your stomach and are for two weeks I believe. (If I remember correctly.) You go in after a period and get your medications and you’re in a medically induced menopause. You do the medications and then they vacuum the eggs out. You have appointments every couple of days to monitor everything, see how large the follicles are, and do bloodwork. Then, before donation day, you trigger the egg release and go in and have the eggs sucked out. You have to be put under for the donation. Then you take pain killers and are sent home. Through the process I bloated horribly. I look like I was 8 months pregnant and the pressure was insane. I couldn’t lift more than ten pounds after donation and had such bad cramping I walked hunched over for three days. It was really hard on my body, but worth it to help a couple in need.
The selection process is like surrogacy. Your profile is put in a booklet and then you have to be selected and go through medical clearance. It’s definitely a shorter process than surrogacy, but I feel like my body suffered more doing an egg donation. It’s very impersonal also. I didn’t know what the couples looked like and never was able to talk with them or anything. All I was told was if the eggs ended up helping them get pregnant.
Surrogacy meds were easier on my body it seemed, I had regular contact with my IPs, and carrying the baby was amazing. Although birth wasn’t great, it was so worth it.
It was also easier for people to support me with a donation than surrogacy since it was short and I didn’t risk as much for myself. But my family came around for the surrogacy and I ended up with an amazing support system.
AM – Kansas