Our significant others play a HUGE role in support for us during a surrogate journey.
Some husbands or partners have a hard time initially with the concept of their wives carrying a child for someone else. It is important to be patient and know that the initial thought of this might be awkward for them. We need to validate those feelings with our significant other and discuss them so that they may gain a better understanding. A few suggestions on how to go about this are listed below.
- Write a letter to the Intended Parents explaining what brought you to surrogacy and why you want to do this. This can make it more real to your S.O. helping them see a side maybe they didn’t think about. It might shed a little light on what drew you in and take the awkwardness away if they have a full understanding of your feelings as you share them with parents who have struggled to have their child the traditional way. You could include feelings you have about your children and your hopes of passing this along to someone else.
- Make sure your spouse is introduced to a situation of a friend, colleague or acquaintance where they were unable to have children of their own and had to seek alternative routes. This is another way for them to see the other side of fertility. Most surrogates have not struggled with getting pregnant or having their children. This will allow them to view life through someone else’s eyes to know the pain and heartache others go through to complete their families.
- Be sure to discuss your family dynamics. If your family is not complete it might be best for you to compromise. Hold off on surrogacy until your family building goals are complete so that there will be no animosity or frustration while you attempt to help someone else complete their family. Pregnancy can have risk no matter what previous pregnancies were like. It is important that you both agree that your family is complete before offering to help others.
There are countless reasons for people to choose surrogacy as their option to complete their family. People come from all walks of life and for many different reasons. Helping our significant other understand those things can help them be more supportive for you during this process. It is vital to educate them to have a better understanding which will allow them to open themselves up to the idea which then will lead to a more positive journey and experience.
Please reach out to us if you need or would like some help with this.