Single Dads in Surrogacy
Single Dads. Everyone knows a story about a single mom who wanted a family so much that it didn’t matter that she didn’t have a partner. We seldom stop to think that there are men, on their own, who would give anything to be a Dad.
If we were to consider relationships we have encountered or parents of children we have known throughout our lives I’m certain we can all think of a model father in our minds. A man for whom being a dad was an intrinsic part of his identity. I’ll admit that when I came to surrogacy it was new to me to consider working with a single dad. Over the years I have had the privilege and honor of working with some outstanding men who have become absolutely incredible fathers. There are several reasons a single man might choose surrogacy that maybe you haven’t considered.
Like women, there are men who yearn to become a parent. We’ve had some very successful men who have not met their match in life, yet knew being a parent was a lifelong dream which they decided they didn’t need a partner to attain. These men typically have a successful career that allows them to either take time to raise a child and continue working part-time or hire the needed help by way of a nanny to enable them to have a career and provide for their family (just as many single mothers do). And they get to be what they always longed to be…. A Dad.
I recall a unique story of one man who came to surrogacy after having a child with a genetic abnormality that would result in the child most likely passing away before he reached the age of 20. This took a toll on the man’s marriage resulting, sadly, in divorce and him having custody of his son. His reason for choosing the surrogate path was to have a second child to outlive him as well as give his son a sibling. It was a beautiful story that touched my heart, showing me a glimpse of someone else’s perspective.
In another case, I worked with a single man from Spain whose entire family was SO involved in the process that there was a wonderfully amazing community that came together to help this lovely gentleman become the father he longed to be. This has happened time and time again, I find it so incredibly touching each and every time it happens. Many people have this view that only women are designed with the longing to parent and the yearning desire to have a child to care for in their lives. These men have shown that that is definitely not true.
This Father’s Day we want to pay tribute to those incredibly amazing dads that have blessed us by allowing us to be a part of their unique and special journey to fatherhood. Let us realize that these men are choosing parenthood and going to the ends of the earth to attain that. They must not be forgotten and deserve a beyond standard recognition. May you all have the Happiest Father’s Day!