Stories From Surrogate Mothers: Part 1

Stories from Surrogate Mothers

Would you carry a stranger’s baby? How about your sister’s? Over the last few years, surrogacy has entered our pop culture zeitgeist, with stars like Nicole Kidman and Sarah Jessica Parker using surrogate mothers to complete their families. But surrogacy remains one of the least talked about tools in the fight against infertility. Why do surrogate mothers do what they do? What do they get out of it? And how hard is it to give a child to its parents after having it in your womb for 9 months? Here are five women’s stories about their experience with surrogacy.


Rayven Perkins Family“We’re not rich people … but it’s one way our family can give back in a really big way.” – Rayven Perkins, 32, Austin, Texas, married, mother to a 10-year-old girl and 11-year-old boy

I have been a surrogate mother three times (twins in February 2007 and a little boy in June 2008), and I’m about to give birth this month to my fourth surrogate baby. The best part is knowing you did this for the right reasons when you deliver the baby and the parents finally see him or her. But there are a lot of sacrifices a surrogate makes. There are hormone shots that my husband had to help me take for three months, prior to the transfer and then almost through the first trimester. With varying state laws on surrogacy, you may have to stay in state. My husband had to turn down a promotion in another state, and I missed Christmas with my in-laws during my 3rd trimester with twins because my doctor said I couldn’t travel.

I’m one of the fortunate people that is “good” at being a surrogate mother. Every embryo that doctors have transferred has ended with a full-term healthy baby. That’s rare. After my first time as a surrogate, I waited three years and worked on my surrogacy website and wanted to do it one more time. Addicting is not the right word, but the ability to help someone else is a very good feeling.

[As for handing the baby off] I knew instinctually that I’m not an attached type of person. I always viewed surrogacy as a long babysitting project. I’m going to give birth any day now and I’m excited that the parents will be there. It’s not sad for me at all. I have no regrets whatsoever – I’m just glad I was able to participate. We’re not rich people. We’ll never donate a wing of a hospital, but it’s one way our family can give back to our world in a really big way. Without our assistance, there would be four less children in the world. We are showing our own children how to be generous and how to sacrifice for others.

Come back again to read the next surrogate mother story from Robin Kaufer.

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If you would like more information about surrogate mothers or about surrogacy in general, please contact Surrogates Across America.

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