I have a shirt that says, “I got another woman pregnant. Ask me how,” and on my car it says “Vehicle owned by a proud egg donor.”
I have two sets of surrogate twins and an anonymous child—or children—out there. (I’ve donated three times, and the first was anonymous, so I don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy or twins.) The second started out pretty clinical, and the intended parents chose not to tell some members of their family that they had to use an egg donor. I think the woman felt as if she’d failed her family. Now that she’s holding the two precious bundles in her arms, she’s become more open to the idea. The third family sees my family as an extension of theirs and is very open. I think I’m retired now, because it can’t get any better than the last couple I worked with. They’re so open and loving. I’m happy I did all three, but now I wouldn’t do an anonymous donation again.
I grew up in Germany, and my bloodline is 100 percent German, and my own two boys are smart and cute. While I was still breastfeeding my youngest son, I was overwhelmed with love and I felt so lucky. I thought, “How can I help someone else feel as happy as I do now?” I worked in the accounting field, and then decided to stay home with my children. With Katy Melo, I’ve opened Kuro Surrogacy & Beyond, which allows me to contribute both my accounting skills and experience in egg donation.
As for the mental process, when it comes to the donation, I’m aware of the pressure for my body to perform, and I do worry about the best possible outcome. After the egg retrieval, if you know the intended parents you sweat through what is called the “2ww,” which is the “two worst weeks” from the time of the transfer to the blood test confirming pregnancy. It’s a long, stressful wait to see if my eggs and the intended father’s sperm worked, but it’s so worth it.
People wonder about the emotional attachment side of donating your genes. But I felt as if once they’d retrieved the eggs, they weren’t mine anymore. Right after the retrieval, I gave my blessings: “Go with God, but go. You have my love.” I have this deep sense these children are meant to be here, and it’s going to be okay. I have given them the best start that they need, and whatever they do with that is up to them.
I’m now pregnant with my third child. I may consider being a surrogate, but you’ll have to ask me in 25 weeks after I’ve had my baby. Right now I’m content, because I’ve done what I wanted to do—to pay it forward.
Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
If you would like more information about becoming a surrogate mother or about surrogacy in general, please contact Surrogates Across America.